Triple Trouble
Film: Humshakals
Cast: Saif Ali Khan,Riteish Deshmukh,Ram Kapoor, Bipasha
Basu
Directed by: Sajid
Khan
Duration: 2 hrs 39 mins
Rating: ½ star
Dear Sajid Khan,
Hope this letter finds
you in the torrid pink of health and spirits. I was worried sick about you
after watching Humshakals. It has been a tumultuous time since I came out of
the theatre, while trying to regain my own sanity, my heart also went out to all those who
actually paid money to watch this farce in the name of cinema. I am dreading
that you might have suffered the same fate as some of the victims who went to see this
film.
Some people had the choice of leaving in the middle of it and I am glad they exercised it, but some of them actually left even before
the interval. In all the years that I
have been watching films, I don’t recollect such a sight.
Having endured Himmatwala, it
appeared that your creative juices had dried up and it couldn’t have got any
worse. But sadly, we were wrong.
Make no mistake, I was well prepared for all eventualities. I
practiced sitting on a cactus for two and a half hours every day to get myself
ready for it. What I wasn’t prepared for was being water boarded at the same
time.
When I saw that the film is
dedicated to Kishore Kumar, Jim Carrey and Peter Sellers my hopes were raised.
But later I was glad that two of the three gentlemen are not around and I
sincerely hope Jim Carrey never gets to hear about this film.
So what were you thinking when
you came up with this story where a hopelessly miscast Saif Ali Khan plays
Ashok who appears to be competing with the Mittals when it comes to wealth. His
best friend is called Kumar (Riteish) and they don’t have an occupation in
particular, except attend board meetings where the scheming uncle (Ram Kapoor)
wants to take over the business empire.
I wanted to bury my head in my
neighbors pop corn tub and wake up hoping that it was a bad dream when Ashok
and Kumar start, growling, barking and behave like dogs. The reason? A scientist gives them a mind
altering drug called MAD.
I hope I am not speaking out of
turn when I say that considering the kind of films you are making, a little bit
of alteration to your mind won’t be such a bad idea at this point.
Now if the existing loony
characters weren’t enough, you put in another set of the same guys with same
names and faces. Logic has never been your forte but the lack of it film
plummets to new depths in this film. And if that
wasn’t enough, you introduced another set of the same guys so we had all these
doppelgangers.
And pray, what were the actresses
doing in the film? Apart from participating in songs and wearing short dresses
I mean. Plus, the way the British have been portrayed I just hope a diplomatic
row doesn’t break out between our two countries. We can kiss the Kohinoor goodbye for another
century now.
The only funny bit I liked was
when the hospital warden decided to torture his patients by showing them
Himmatwala. I have an unsolicited idea for your next film – a character wants
to commit suicide but he can’t decide if he should jump off the bridge or blow
his brains off. In the end, he decides
to watch Humshakals to achieve his
goal.
You were a genuinely funny guy on
television Sajid bhai but what happened to your mojo on the big screen?
Politically incorrect jokes can be fun if they are in the right vein but your
gags directed at gays, differently abled people, dwarfs are anything but
entertaining. And the lesser I say about the men in drag the better, I don’t
want to remind myself of how Ram Kapoor the man fell for Ram Kapoor the
‘woman’.
It remains a mystery how you
managed to rope in the actors. I presume they were paid a fat cheque. Saif Ali
Khan made some terrible choices at the beginning of his career but none were as
bad as this, he doesn’t have that knack for comedy, so please convey this to
him. Riteish Deshmukh on the other hand managed to salvage some of the
situation.
I will end by beseeching you to
get well soon and earnestly request you by quoting a line from the film - “Hume
torture mat kijiye sir, hum aapke pair padte hain”
Cheers,
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