Film Review - Phantom

Agent Rambo

Film: Phantom

Cast: Saif Ali Khan, Katrina Kaif, Mohammed Zeeshan  Ayub
Directed by: Kabir Khan
Duration: 2 hrs 27 mins
Rating: * *

After Kabul Express, Ek Tha Tiger and very recently Bajrangi Bhaijan, director Kabir Khan is on familiar terrain again with Phantom. Without a trace of doubt, this is his worst outing so far. The spark and drama of Bajrangi is not there and the fairly terse action drama of Ek Tha Tiger is missing. What we end up with is a screenplay which has as much fizz as a cola that has been left open for a week.

Based on Hussain Zaidi’s book Mumbai Avengers, Phantom is a cross between Agent Vinod and D-Day. The Sriram Raghvan film was superior because at least it had some interesting filmi references while D-Day was an enjoyable action thriller. Phantom is literally all over the place – Chicago, Syria, Pakistan we get to see it all. But what we miss is a screenplay that will keep us engaged.  

The idea of an Indian secret agent going solo and striking against terrorists responsible for the 26/11 attack itself sounds like a daunting plot. Starting with a rather unnecessary chase on the streets of Chicago we are introduced in flashback to the man involved, Daniyal Khan (Saif Ali Khan).  There is more than one explanatory flashback in the film and our directors still like to tell and show, sometimes the other way round. In a scene during the climax, we clearly see two dots on the radar screen retreating back towards Pakistan. Promptly, the officer says “Lagta hain yeh dono boat Pakistan ki taraf ja rahi hain” explaining verbally what has already been shown.        

Katrina Kaif plays an agent working for an American company called Darkwater (an obvious reference to Blackwater) that supplies arms and takes up contracts in conflict zones.  There is another of those silly background stories (with a flashback of course) as to why and how she landed up with such a job.

Meanwhile Daniyal Khan has been recruited on the sly by RAW. His job is to exterminate all those who are spreading terror in India. The fine actor Mohammed Zeeshan Ayub plays a newly recruited RAW agent who comes up with this idea. “Jab Pakistan hum pe hamla karta hain to zyaada se zyaada hum kya karte hain, sirf cricket khelna bandh kar dete hain.”  Well, we have also started making fictional films on those attacks now.  

There is David Headley who becomes Daniyal’s target along with the big fish Hafeez Sayyed (mentioned as Harris Sayyed in the film)

As far as the patriotism and jingoism is concerned, the film tries to walk the fine line but fails. In the process of attempting to be a crowd pleaser, it digs itself in a hole.  

The shoddy screenplay is to be blamed and the direction doesn’t rise above the ordinary. You can’t have the hero strutting around like a fictional James Bond or Jason Bourne kind of character in a story that alludes to real life references.  And it is also time for Saif Ali Khan to give up on such roles. It is a bit too late to play Rambo. 

The effort to infuse some romance is so lame that a door and a latch have more chemistry than Saif and Katrina. 

You will need lots of patience and the ability to withstand triteness if you encounter this Agent Rambo.

Published in The Navhind Times on 30th Aug 2015
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Film Review - Humshakals

Triple Trouble

Film: Humshakals

Cast: Saif Ali Khan,Riteish Deshmukh,Ram Kapoor, Bipasha Basu

Directed by: Sajid Khan

Duration: 2 hrs 39 mins

Rating:  ½ star

Dear Sajid Khan,

Hope this letter finds you in the torrid pink of health and spirits. I was worried sick about you after watching Humshakals. It has been a tumultuous time since I came out of the theatre, while trying to regain my own sanity,  my heart also went out to all those who actually paid money to watch this farce in the name of cinema. I am dreading that you might have suffered the same fate as some of the victims who went to see this film.

Some people had the choice of leaving in the middle of it and I am glad they exercised it, but some of them actually left even before the interval. In all the years that I have been watching films, I don’t recollect such a sight.

Having endured Himmatwala, it appeared that your creative juices had dried up and it couldn’t have got any worse. But sadly, we were wrong.

Make no mistake,  I was well prepared for all eventualities. I practiced sitting on a cactus for two and a half hours every day to get myself ready for it. What I wasn’t prepared for was being water boarded at the same time. 

When I saw that the film is dedicated to Kishore Kumar, Jim Carrey and Peter Sellers my hopes were raised. But later I was glad that two of the three gentlemen are not around and I sincerely hope Jim Carrey never gets to hear about this film.

So what were you thinking when you came up with this story where a hopelessly miscast Saif Ali Khan plays Ashok who appears to be competing with the Mittals when it comes to wealth. His best friend is called Kumar (Riteish) and they don’t have an occupation in particular, except attend board meetings where the scheming uncle (Ram Kapoor) wants to take over the business empire.

I wanted to bury my head in my neighbors pop corn tub and wake up hoping that it was a bad dream when Ashok and Kumar start, growling, barking and behave like dogs.  The reason? A scientist gives them a mind altering drug called MAD.

I hope I am not speaking out of turn when I say that considering the kind of films you are making, a little bit of alteration to your mind won’t be such a bad idea at this point.

Now if the existing loony characters weren’t enough, you put in another set of the same guys with same names and faces. Logic has never been your forte but the lack of it  film plummets to new depths in this film.  And if that wasn’t enough, you introduced another set of the same guys so we had all these doppelgangers.

And pray, what were the actresses doing in the film? Apart from participating in songs and wearing short dresses I mean. Plus, the way the British have been portrayed I just hope a diplomatic row doesn’t break out between our two countries.  We can kiss the Kohinoor goodbye for another century now. 

The only funny bit I liked was when the hospital warden decided to torture his patients by showing them Himmatwala. I have an unsolicited idea for your next film – a character wants to commit suicide but he can’t decide if he should jump off the bridge or blow his brains off.  In the end, he decides to watch Humshakals to achieve his goal.

You were a genuinely funny guy on television Sajid bhai but what happened to your mojo on the big screen? Politically incorrect jokes can be fun if they are in the right vein but your gags directed at gays, differently abled people, dwarfs are anything but entertaining. And the lesser I say about the men in drag the better, I don’t want to remind myself of how Ram Kapoor the man fell for Ram Kapoor the ‘woman’.

It remains a mystery how you managed to rope in the actors. I presume they were paid a fat cheque. Saif Ali Khan made some terrible choices at the beginning of his career but none were as bad as this, he doesn’t have that knack for comedy, so please convey this to him. Riteish Deshmukh on the other hand managed to salvage some of the situation.

I will end by beseeching you to get well soon and earnestly request you by quoting a line from the film - “Hume torture mat kijiye sir, hum aapke pair padte hain”

Cheers,

Sachin

Published in The Navhind Times, Goa on 22nd June 2014
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Film Review Bullett Raja

                              

                                    Bullet Mar Bheje Mein         

                                        

Film: Bullett Raja

Cast: Saif Ali Khan, Sonakshi Sinha, Jimmy Sheirgill

Directed by: Tigmanshu Dhulia

Duration: 2 hrs 18 mins

Rating: * *

                

With films like Sahib Biwi Aur Gangster and Paan Singh Tomar, as a director Tigmanshu Dhulia had made a mark for himself.  With his latest offering Bullett Raja, the scale is bigger but not necessarily better.  Riddled with a script that needed some serious tinkering, there is the occasional spark that shows Dhulia’s talent but on the whole, this is a let down.

The film has politics, romance, friendship, vendetta and all that could make a good Bollywood potboiler. But somehow it doesn’t add up primarily because the characterization is weak and many scenes are irrelevant, thanks to the poor editing.

Set in the heart of Uttar Pradesh, there’s  Raja (Saif Ali Khan) who gate crashes at a wedding party. There, instantly he becomes friends with Rudra (Jimmy Sheirgill) and soon they are like Jai and Veeru (there is also a  joke about that). A shrewd politician (are there any other type?) played by Raj Babbar takes them under his wings and makes them in charge of U.P ki security. This effectively means that they have to bump off anyone their boss asks them to.

Soon, they become local heroes and Raja even rescues a damsel in distress (Sonakshi Sinha) who is an aspiring actress but there is no sign of that ever in the film again. Their falling in love is as believable as Kim Jong doing the dandiya with Hillary Clinton. Vidyut Jamwal plays a police inspector who is put in charge of reigning in Raja and the finale is also quite loose as if the film makers had enough of it. 

                There are no surprises at any stage, it is all so very predictable.  And its all the more disappointing because with the ordinary story Dhulia doesn’t elevate it much either. There is the odd scene that you let out a chuckle (like the scene where a dacoit wants to surrender) but by and large it is not very engaging.

                There is the proverbial item number plus a song in a disco and the romantic ditties, these are not Dhulia’s strengths. His understanding of politics is also much better than we get to see on the screen.  The editing is tacky and some of the action sequences in the first half are pedestrain. 

                The cast is sincere but they needed some solid material on hand. Ravi Kissan as the contract killer plays his part well but Saif Ali Khan looks like he is sleepwalking through his role. If you venture into this film, then don’t expect much from it. 

Published in The Navhind Times on 3rd Dec 2013

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